Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
