I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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