Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
