My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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