dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
