grandma shit on top of the toilet
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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