why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
