So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize