Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
