my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
