im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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