yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
