Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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