I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
