Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
