You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
PANTIES FOUND
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