im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
