i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
