he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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