I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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