shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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