Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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