If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
