We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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