I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Umm I'm too high to move.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
P.S. I can't hear my feet
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
