I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
