Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
kristin has been a bad kristin
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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