Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
