THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
