I think I am morally bankrupt
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
