They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize