let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize