sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
