he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
