I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
