Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
