smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
