Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
