Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
