so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
