fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
