I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize