do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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