there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize