I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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