Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My cat gives me a boner
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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