She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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