the day after is always just damage control
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
