The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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