I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
