vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
