I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
