32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
