What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
3pm strippers are depressing
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
