im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
