I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
