hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
