If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
