i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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