I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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