It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
