whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
