***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
