she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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