I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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