Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
